HAPPY HOLI!! (The Threats and Joys)

[Blogmandu: A hilarious Prachanda Parody in front of the leader himself. Article in Nepali. Click on the link. नक्कली प्रचन्डले सक्कलीलाई हसाउदा]

By Zade
Zade Express

I was a little girl, five most probably. She was in Grade one while my sister was smaller still. Face? I don’t remember, nor the dress (which I generally do). But I bet we made a cute gang of three. It was Holi.


Holi-water: The game. By Bikas Karki

We hit a pedestrian with a lola the bossy biggies had given us. I have blurred memories of the event. So, don’t exactly remember if it was the victim or another gentleman but someone came to us and told us “Baato ma hindirako manchelai hirkaune hunna”. The three of us ran back home, scared vowing “Abadekhi nahenne hai!” (We won’t do that from now onwards.) Fighters that was what we were but very obedient then (an extremely rare trait in the kids that age these days!). Ha ha ha. That’s my oldest memory of Holi.

Then it was hostel. Holi, though a holiday wasn’t “Home Going” day as the rest for many years. She’d just smear the red color on our cheeks and it was over. I’ve never celebrated “Holi” but once. And I’d love to share something about that. How about digitizing “that” experience! Let me type what I‘ve written on my diary that day in history hai:

March 28
The Day of Turmoil
Chaitra 16

Hey Diary. This is Daz back to action. Yesterday was Holi. We played it with ourselves pouring buckets of H2O on one another. Had a cool time. But before that we played Holi with the neighborhood boyz. They threw ink (blue) lolas. Gave some to us. हामीले हानेको एउटै लोला लागेन । Was great fun. They had music and dance on their terrace. Since then I haven’t been able to concentrate in my studies. I just keep thinking about them or the masti. I think this is a phase of adolescence. But why did it have to occur when I have only 3 days to go for the greatest exam of my school life………….”

Did I dare something by putting a page of my diary on the World Wide Web? Am wondering if I revealed anything there!! Ha ha ha but who dare ask me anything about that? After all it is a virtual existence here! But soooo wish the “Gang of 14” would read this and discuss every minute detail of the day and laugh about it!! ….Damn memories. Bring nothing but nostalgia…..

But let me leave behind the memories and talk of “Holi” today. My sister’s experience would be very contemporary and hip. She was walking on the roads of Kupondole with a friend yesterday. A group of boys (inclusive of all ages!!) sat nearby well- armed with “Lolas” and the likes. The two of them walked past warning “ Hanne hoina hai” (Don’t you dare hit us). Unaware of my sister’s wrath, they hit her anyway. Then the escalation of Anger To Danger! She picked up a stone lying nearby and hurled it at their direction yelling “Hanchas”. (How dare you hit me?) Though it hit none of them fortunately or unfortunately, you decide. She walked up to the guys and started yelling. A boy told her “Maile haneko hoina” (I didn’t hit you).

She demanded “Yahan manche Darauna baseko!” (You want to scare people?), Nahaneko bhaye ho yesai gari kam napako jasto lola display garera basnu!! (If you didn’t then stay here as a useless bum keeping the “lolas” on display!”

Then they came across a girl carrying a plastic filled with water. Her anger wasn’t cooling down anytime soon so she commented “के पानी बोकिराखेको ? फोहोरी देखिराखेको छ, गएर नुहाउनु बोरु!”
(Why are you with water? Know what?You look dirty. Rather, go and take a bath!)

Her acts are gender-balanced for sure!!

Now, she’s telling me “That is the problem with us girls. लुत्त परेर हिँडेर केही हुन्न, गएर चुट्नुपर्छ । Tit for tat, eye for an eye. That’s the way. You should speak for yourself.” How can I ever disagree with the “Pataka!” The problem is she is ALWAYS right!

मलाई लाग्यो, यो उत्ताउलो लोला संस्कृतिको व्रि्रोह थियो । आक्रमणको निसानामा म परे पनि यस घटनामार्फ उनीहरूले समस्त पुरुषलाई चेतावनी दिएको महसुस गरे । ‘खबरदार ! हामी समानताको युगमा प्रवेश गरिसकेका छौं र नारी भएकै कारणले चुप लागेर बस्दैनौं,’ उनीहरूको सन्देश प्रस्ट देखियो ।

धेरै वर्षेखि युवतीहरू होलीको आगमनस“गै पुरुषको लोलाअस्त्रबाट प्रताडित छन् । होलीको समापन नहुन्जेल उनीहरू जीउ र ज्यान जोगाउदै बाटामा हिड्नुपर्छ । तर अब उनीहरू जाग्न थालेका छन् । होलीको लोकतान्त्रिक महत्त्व यही हुनुपर्छ । किशोरीहरू घरको छाना, गल्ली र टोलमा पुरुषसग बदला लिन तयार भएर बसेका छन् । त्यसैले मेरा प्रिय बालक, किशोर र युवा पुरुष साथीहरू ! हामीले मनमा आक्रमण, प्रतिआक्रमण र बदलाको भाव नराखेर होली मनाउनुपर्छ ।

अब होलीका निश्चित आचारसंहिता तोक्नुपर्छ । त्यसको कडा पालना, अनुशरण र अनुगमन हुनुपर्छ । होइन भने थुप्रै सोझा पुरुष र महिला लोला एवं रङ आक्रमणको सिकार हुन सक्छन् । होलीमा घरबाट निस्कनै नसक्ने अवस्थासमेत उत्पन्न हुन सक्छ ।

होलीको आचारसंहिता by जितेन्द्र साह (published in the Kantipur Daily ( Falgun 18, 2063)

Holi Horror

By Hayah in Alive n Kickin

Come Holi, and its no longer a festival of color and joy, but one of utmost embarrassment and degradation for the young girls and women who walk the streets, going about their daily duties. And besides it’s a few days before and after the actual holi day that all this happen. Holi as I remember from childhood, used to be somewhat clean fun. However, now its just dirty and gross. The weather is not that warm either, and soaking a girl, head to toe, making all the clothes stick to her in a immodest manner (as if it were her fault) in the cold, and having her running in the wet clothes from the scene of embarrassment, is really perverted. Buts that’s whats happening.

Last year (and I am sure there are many more cases this year too), a girl I know had a near accident on her bike from being hit by water balloons, making her lose control for a few seconds spiraling her towards another car on the main road. Even a young mother carrying her baby and walking on the street too isn’t spared. A uncle I know, his grandchild of 2 years got a water balloon on his eye, making it swell with pain.

So that’s holi is it? Embarrassment, near death experiences and perverseness . A season to harass the females without it being a crime? It used to be clean and fun, it used to be a common fact that what goes into those water balloons were clean water, not urine and saliva as rumor has it. There used to be more squeals of joy than of torture. Whats happened to that holi? The rate at which its going holi maybe banned soon. Is that what we want? (continue reading here)

Actress Puja Lama entertains the crowd, mostly celebrities from Nepali entertainment industry, who had gathered in the Holi Hangama program organized by Kantipur FM in their office. Below: A Musical family in Holi celebrations: The Muktans

I personally wonder what is the damn problem with “Boys to men” everyone! What pleasure does one get by hitting a “female form”? Last year was walking in Jamal area at around seven in the evening. Obviously it was dark and moreover raining. And then I get hit by a LOLA! I mean a lola in the rain, in the dark??? What is the fun in that psycho??

I have escaped “Lolas” this year but others haven’t. So there’s no point in being happy. Moreover getting away unscathed doesn’t mean you weren’t targeted either! This has to stop! The thought of being a possible target never comes to my mind while leaving home. That’s the Bichar Bigyan influence. Why think of it and have it landing on me? But I’m no thought scientist so they come flying out of the blue anyway. And I realize amidst relief (that it didn’t hit me) and fear (that it could have hit me) what a tormenting existence it is for us girls. We always have to walk out in constant fear. It’s such a psychological torture, yaar. I mean the “fear” hovering around you. Yesterday I had seen a bus conductor with a lola, half his body leaning outside the bus door, searching for a target? God knows what he had in mind. What the hell is going on? What is the goddamn problem with “Lola-hitters”?

Well, that might be a difficult question to answer. But I sure know the solution. Its “ गाला रन्किने झाप्पु” As my Grama( GURU AMA aka sister) says . Solution continued: Eye for an eye. “Dhunga” (stone) for a “Lola” (balloon filled with water).

Why does such a happy occasion have to be a Threat? Why can’t everyone be more sensible and celebrate? Why can’t it be a mutual exchange of joy? Why can’t we have a memorandum of understanding of some kind? If only I were Gyanendra and could “force” everyone to listen to my “Baktabyas”!! he he he 🙂

For now I’m just happy, in the security of my home lost in memories. Am back to the “day of turmoil”! Getting soaked to the skin with buckets and buckets of water being poured on me and just living the moment….

So wish you all a Very Very HAPPY HOLI!!!

CELEBRATE LIFE IN ALL ITS COLOURSAND SHADES!!

SPLASH!!

That’s my “miss the target” lola for you. Hope it HIT you this time!! 🙂

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20 thoughts on “HAPPY HOLI!! (The Threats and Joys)”

  1. Alright, come one Dinesh, show us some holi celebrated by our Big Dads.
    Prachanda, Girija and of course the king whom i still consider a person with power.

    Can we see some holi pics of them celebrating together, or alone. That would be awesome.

    Like

  2. An Un-Holi Experience

    When I reached at the bus park this afternoon to come to the office I was dismayed to see that no bus was plying. Then I went to another route hoping to find tempos. No luck, one came with people hanging all over it. I started walking and fearing that someone might throw dirty water or lolas to me. After all, I was going to office. Finally a tempo came as I was walking. I waved. It stopped. Luckly, the tempo was going up to Tinkune only (not up to Ratna Park, the usual destination). There were a few men and a lady with her kid. As the tempo was approaching Jadibuti, it suddenly came under attack from lola-wallas. It’s not just lola but the small plastic packets filled with filthy water cause the real problem. They not only work as a “soft stone” but ruin your clothes forcing you to cancel your office yatra and go to take shower instead. Thankfully I didn’t have to cancel my office yatra but we escaped an accident by chance.

    A big plastic bag, filled with dirty water, came and hit on the face of the driver. The driver nearly lost the control of the three wheeler. The water spilled all over the bodies of other passenger. I proved to be luck at this time too as I had chosen to seat in between other passengers. I had also made sure that the windows were closed tightly. As the driver and other passengers were trying to figure out the damage, another mob with lolas came near the tempo and started hitting from the back side (which is open in such vehicles). A man was sitting aside me and it seemed that he was going to somewhere. A splash of dirty water hit on his thigh. He was angry and he was frustrated. But what could he do at that time? The lola gang was too big to fight. “—–ka chhora haru,” he cursed them. “They don’t know people might be going somewhere for important thing.” Later he told, mostly to himself, that he was going to see someone in hospital in Chhauni. I guessed he was a soldier. I felt sorry for him and gave my voice, without saying a word, in condemning the lola gang.

    The original lola (or the plastic packet) was so big that the water covered the kid who was traveling with the woman. The woman’s reaction was harsh. “This is why I don’t like this festival,” she said, helping her kid wipe out the filthy water. “I always wish it never comes. You can’t walk freely and celebrate without being hurled balloons.” The driver said: “That’s why I was hesitating to do this round. It’s almost impossible to ride. How can I ride in this situation?” The road was completely overtaken by the unruly lola mobs and they were hurling the lolas to anyone who was in front of them.

    Thanks to the courageous driver, I finally reached the office where a group of people from far-west Nepal came singing and dancing. The banner carried by the group “Prakriti, Sanskriti and Samajikata” read: Enjoy the festival in a civilized manner.” The chairman of the group, Ambadutta Bhatta, said that they were trying to create awareness about the Holi festival. “This is the festival of color and the festival of harmony,” he said. “But here people are throwing dirty water and unhealthy materials over others.” Bhatta also recalled a story about a woman in tempo this afternoon who was cursing lola-wallas who hit her son with lola. “She was cursing them,” Bhatta said. “The Holi is a festival about well wishing but people are forced to curse others. This needs to be changed for better.”

    So to the girls above, it’s not just girls who are in target though I won’t hesitate to say this Holi is increasingly turning into a “sexist” festival. Well it’s not just about boys attacking girls; I have seen girls doing the same if they get opportunity. Just today as I was walking towards office, a girl threw a lola, that of course, “missed the target.” I quickly looked towards the direction from which it came and the girl went on hiding. Also it’s not just about attacking as well. Even when it is played in good spirit, the game quickly ends in between the boys vs girls. There must be some sort of appeal, sex appeal, in this lola-abir game of holi. Let me cite a line from teh diary of a girl:

    we played Holi with the neighborhood boyz. They threw ink (blue) lolas. Gave some to us. हामीले हानेको एउटै लोला लागेन । Was great fun. They had music and dance on their terrace. Since then I haven’t been able to concentrate in my studies. I just keep thinking about them or the masti. I think this is a phase of adolescence.

    This damn adolescence! This damn attraction! I just keep thinking about them!

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  3. Happy Holi from every one in the Federal Republican Nations of Rukum, Siraha, Morang and Bhojpur to their neighbours.

    The SPAMmers of People’s Republic of Nepal should stop interfering in the internal affairs of our Republics.

    Jai Rukum, Siraha, Morang and Bhojpur!

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  4. Really, it was a great festival and a very nice time to make our life colorful forgetting all the tensions even only for a day but it gives a very good satisfaction for the day. But, now a days, there is increasing a very bad cultures and that is making this great festival as why this comes? for most of the people speacially for girls it has become a curse. Anyway, we should celebrate as a one of the rares, great and nice “chahad”. Okayyyyy, happy belated holly for the people of Kathmandu and happy holi for the people outside kathmandu.

    Hope to see the colorful pictures in the site to feel the life colorful, Dinesh Jee.

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  5. “Jun goru ko singh chaina, tyaskai naam teekhe”

    Relevant translation for this age would be

    “Jun des ma pani chaina, tyahi holi khelnu parne”

    Like

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