[Blogmandu: A hilarious Prachanda Parody in front of the leader himself. Article in Nepali. Click on the link. नक्कली प्रचन्डले सक्कलीलाई हसाउदा]
I was a little girl, five most probably. She was in Grade one while my sister was smaller still. Face? I don’t remember, nor the dress (which I generally do). But I bet we made a cute gang of three. It was Holi.
Holi-water: The game. By Bikas Karki
We hit a pedestrian with a lola the bossy biggies had given us. I have blurred memories of the event. So, don’t exactly remember if it was the victim or another gentleman but someone came to us and told us “Baato ma hindirako manchelai hirkaune hunna”. The three of us ran back home, scared vowing “Abadekhi nahenne hai!” (We won’t do that from now onwards.) Fighters that was what we were but very obedient then (an extremely rare trait in the kids that age these days!). Ha ha ha. That’s my oldest memory of Holi.
Then it was hostel. Holi, though a holiday wasn’t “Home Going” day as the rest for many years. She’d just smear the red color on our cheeks and it was over. I’ve never celebrated “Holi” but once. And I’d love to share something about that. How about digitizing “that” experience! Let me type what I‘ve written on my diary that day in history hai:
The Day of Turmoil
Hey Diary. This is Daz back to action. Yesterday was Holi. We played it with ourselves pouring buckets of H2O on one another. Had a cool time. But before that we played Holi with the neighborhood boyz. They threw ink (blue) lolas. Gave some to us. हामीले हानेको एउटै लोला लागेन । Was great fun. They had music and dance on their terrace. Since then I haven’t been able to concentrate in my studies. I just keep thinking about them or the masti. I think this is a phase of adolescence. But why did it have to occur when I have only 3 days to go for the greatest exam of my school life………….”
Did I dare something by putting a page of my diary on the World Wide Web? Am wondering if I revealed anything there!! Ha ha ha but who dare ask me anything about that? After all it is a virtual existence here! But soooo wish the “Gang of 14” would read this and discuss every minute detail of the day and laugh about it!! ….Damn memories. Bring nothing but nostalgia…..
But let me leave behind the memories and talk of “Holi” today. My sister’s experience would be very contemporary and hip. She was walking on the roads of Kupondole with a friend yesterday. A group of boys (inclusive of all ages!!) sat nearby well- armed with “Lolas” and the likes. The two of them walked past warning “ Hanne hoina hai” (Don’t you dare hit us). Unaware of my sister’s wrath, they hit her anyway. Then the escalation of Anger To Danger! She picked up a stone lying nearby and hurled it at their direction yelling “Hanchas”. (How dare you hit me?) Though it hit none of them fortunately or unfortunately, you decide. She walked up to the guys and started yelling. A boy told her “Maile haneko hoina” (I didn’t hit you).
She demanded “Yahan manche Darauna baseko!” (You want to scare people?), Nahaneko bhaye ho yesai gari kam napako jasto lola display garera basnu!! (If you didn’t then stay here as a useless bum keeping the “lolas” on display!”
Then they came across a girl carrying a plastic filled with water. Her anger wasn’t cooling down anytime soon so she commented “के पानी बोकिराखेको ? फोहोरी देखिराखेको छ, गएर नुहाउनु बोरु!”
(Why are you with water? Know what?You look dirty. Rather, go and take a bath!)
Her acts are gender-balanced for sure!!
Now, she’s telling me “That is the problem with us girls. लुत्त परेर हिँडेर केही हुन्न, गएर चुट्नुपर्छ । Tit for tat, eye for an eye. That’s the way. You should speak for yourself.” How can I ever disagree with the “Pataka!” The problem is she is ALWAYS right!
मलाई लाग्यो, यो उत्ताउलो लोला संस्कृतिको व्रि्रोह थियो । आक्रमणको निसानामा म परे पनि यस घटनामार्फ उनीहरूले समस्त पुरुषलाई चेतावनी दिएको महसुस गरे । ‘खबरदार ! हामी समानताको युगमा प्रवेश गरिसकेका छौं र नारी भएकै कारणले चुप लागेर बस्दैनौं,’ उनीहरूको सन्देश प्रस्ट देखियो ।
धेरै वर्षेखि युवतीहरू होलीको आगमनस“गै पुरुषको लोलाअस्त्रबाट प्रताडित छन् । होलीको समापन नहुन्जेल उनीहरू जीउ र ज्यान जोगाउदै बाटामा हिड्नुपर्छ । तर अब उनीहरू जाग्न थालेका छन् । होलीको लोकतान्त्रिक महत्त्व यही हुनुपर्छ । किशोरीहरू घरको छाना, गल्ली र टोलमा पुरुषसग बदला लिन तयार भएर बसेका छन् । त्यसैले मेरा प्रिय बालक, किशोर र युवा पुरुष साथीहरू ! हामीले मनमा आक्रमण, प्रतिआक्रमण र बदलाको भाव नराखेर होली मनाउनुपर्छ ।
अब होलीका निश्चित आचारसंहिता तोक्नुपर्छ । त्यसको कडा पालना, अनुशरण र अनुगमन हुनुपर्छ । होइन भने थुप्रै सोझा पुरुष र महिला लोला एवं रङ आक्रमणको सिकार हुन सक्छन् । होलीमा घरबाट निस्कनै नसक्ने अवस्थासमेत उत्पन्न हुन सक्छ ।
होलीको आचारसंहिता by जितेन्द्र साह (published in the Kantipur Daily ( Falgun 18, 2063)
By Hayah in Alive n Kickin
Come Holi, and its no longer a festival of color and joy, but one of utmost embarrassment and degradation for the young girls and women who walk the streets, going about their daily duties. And besides it’s a few days before and after the actual holi day that all this happen. Holi as I remember from childhood, used to be somewhat clean fun. However, now its just dirty and gross. The weather is not that warm either, and soaking a girl, head to toe, making all the clothes stick to her in a immodest manner (as if it were her fault) in the cold, and having her running in the wet clothes from the scene of embarrassment, is really perverted. Buts that’s whats happening.
Last year (and I am sure there are many more cases this year too), a girl I know had a near accident on her bike from being hit by water balloons, making her lose control for a few seconds spiraling her towards another car on the main road. Even a young mother carrying her baby and walking on the street too isn’t spared. A uncle I know, his grandchild of 2 years got a water balloon on his eye, making it swell with pain.
So that’s holi is it? Embarrassment, near death experiences and perverseness . A season to harass the females without it being a crime? It used to be clean and fun, it used to be a common fact that what goes into those water balloons were clean water, not urine and saliva as rumor has it. There used to be more squeals of joy than of torture. Whats happened to that holi? The rate at which its going holi maybe banned soon. Is that what we want? (continue reading here)
Actress Puja Lama entertains the crowd, mostly celebrities from Nepali entertainment industry, who had gathered in the Holi Hangama program organized by Kantipur FM in their office. Below: A Musical family in Holi celebrations: The Muktans
I personally wonder what is the damn problem with “Boys to men” everyone! What pleasure does one get by hitting a “female form”? Last year was walking in Jamal area at around seven in the evening. Obviously it was dark and moreover raining. And then I get hit by a LOLA! I mean a lola in the rain, in the dark??? What is the fun in that psycho??
I have escaped “Lolas” this year but others haven’t. So there’s no point in being happy. Moreover getting away unscathed doesn’t mean you weren’t targeted either! This has to stop! The thought of being a possible target never comes to my mind while leaving home. That’s the Bichar Bigyan influence. Why think of it and have it landing on me? But I’m no thought scientist so they come flying out of the blue anyway. And I realize amidst relief (that it didn’t hit me) and fear (that it could have hit me) what a tormenting existence it is for us girls. We always have to walk out in constant fear. It’s such a psychological torture, yaar. I mean the “fear” hovering around you. Yesterday I had seen a bus conductor with a lola, half his body leaning outside the bus door, searching for a target? God knows what he had in mind. What the hell is going on? What is the goddamn problem with “Lola-hitters”?
Well, that might be a difficult question to answer. But I sure know the solution. Its “ गाला रन्किने झाप्पु” As my Grama( GURU AMA aka sister) says . Solution continued: Eye for an eye. “Dhunga” (stone) for a “Lola” (balloon filled with water).
Why does such a happy occasion have to be a Threat? Why can’t everyone be more sensible and celebrate? Why can’t it be a mutual exchange of joy? Why can’t we have a memorandum of understanding of some kind? If only I were Gyanendra and could “force” everyone to listen to my “Baktabyas”!! he he he 🙂
For now I’m just happy, in the security of my home lost in memories. Am back to the “day of turmoil”! Getting soaked to the skin with buckets and buckets of water being poured on me and just living the moment….
So wish you all a Very Very HAPPY HOLI!!!
CELEBRATE LIFE IN ALL ITS COLOURSAND SHADES!!
That’s my “miss the target” lola for you. Hope it HIT you this time!! 🙂