A Maoist Leader Talks About Peace Talks

By Gunaraj Luitel and Ujir Magar

Krishna Bahadur Mahara

[UWB: Kantipur News Editor Gunaraj Luitel and reporter Ujir Magar conducted an interview with Maoist spokesperson Krishna Bahadur Mahara who also heads the talks team set up by the rebel party. Mahara arrived in the capital this week “to make the environment favourable for talks with the government”. This interview, originally published in Kantipur daily, was translated by eKantipur into English:]

Q: How long has it been since you were here last?

Krishna Bahadur Mahara: It’s been about two and a half years.

Didn’t you come to the capital after the second round of talks?

We held talks in Hapure after the talks in Kathmandu. The talks ended immediately in Hapure. Since the Doramba incident, we have not appeared in public.

The main reason why you are in the capital this time is to find a solution to the problems?

It’s obvious. Not only this time but every time we have come for talks, it has been to give new directions to the people, to make a new Nepal and for bigger social transformation. We have this belief that the above objectives can be reached through talks. We have always believed that there can be peaceful solutions too. A lot has changed in the political scene this time. So, we are here because we seriously believe that we can go for the constituent assembly.

The newly formed government – and the reinstated House of Representatives (HoR) – has made some fresh announcements in favour of the people. Has that helped?

It has eased things. In contrast the present government is slightly different from earlier governments. Nevertheless the scenario cannot be considered to be fully acceptable as yet. There still remains a lot to be sorted out.

Your party has critically welcomed the House Proclamation. It’s said Maoists were consulted before making the announcement…

Our formal reaction to the Proclamation has already been made public. We have welcomed religious secularism and the stripping of many of the king’s powers. This is politically a very positive move. But the leaders of many political parties have said that it has made the house fully sovereign. But people are yet to be made sovereign. Therefore this Proclamation is incomplete. Comparatively, this has been a step forward. We, however, wait to see the practical implementation of the announcement. The verdict of the people’s revolution is constituent assembly. The basis of the movement is the 12-point understanding between the parties and CPN (Maoist). Constituent assembly is the heart of the revolution. The ultimate aim of the revolution is republicanism.

We are not involved in the Proclamation. So we are apprehensive as to whether the parliamentary political parties will only work to improve and institutionalise the house and legitimise it rather than moving ahead in the direction of a constituent assembly. At least the government should have come to some agreement with our party prior to the Proclamation. It is either weakness or a conspiracy that the government failed to involve us.

The positive moves by the government have created a wave of support in favour of the government and the parties. You have been positive too. But don’t you wonder why this is being done before the talks with the Maoists?

Yes in some regards we are thinking that. Parliamentary parties have been fighting in the streets for about one and a half years now. Although they were trying to make the movement effective they were not able to. Everybody has seen the face of the movement before and after the 12-point understanding. Since the 12-point understanding was central in taking the movement to the people, our role and participation has been clearly understood in the political circle. We and the people know this. We have had a major role in the movement and we share a major contribution. So if the leaders fail here the people will assess the parties’ weakness. If they don’t consult with our party and think that they can do everything on their own, solutions will be difficult to find. It will push us deeper into the maze of problems. If that is the case, we will step forward and lead the people’s will and verdict.

Does this mean returning to the armed insurgency?

What no one should be mistaken about is that we were taking a peaceful way before our revolution started. We practised parliamentary politics too. When we presented the 40-point demand, we took up peaceful means. We did not choose to start a war; we were compelled to. We came to talks twice and maintained sincerity there too.

Our main agenda was always a constituent assembly. So it was not that we spoiled the talks and returned. Secondly, this time too we have come with sincerity and a sense of responsibility. Our peaceful aspirations have always been there in the past and present and they will be there in the future too. But if any force tries to conspire and work against the people’s will, we might be compelled to take that way despite our unwillingness. We hope that will not happen.

The present House, reinstated by the pressure of the movement, is a different House and has declared itself all-powerful and sovereign. When you raise unnecessary doubts it may fail to work as per the people’s aspirations?

No, it’s not like that. Where is our place in the present House of Representatives? We are the political force who is not represented in the present House. Not only us, there are several other political forces who are outside the present House. There are only the representatives of the seven parties. And it’s false that the mass movement was launched only by the seven parties. There are parliamentarians (in the present House) elected seven or eight years ago. People have advanced in this period. The House does not represent the people’s mandate as expressed during the movement. The base of the House is the Constitution of 1990, which we say is a regressive constitution. We are against the 1990 Constitution. Talking truthfully, there are representatives (in the House) who were against the mass movement.

So which mechanism can be formed to include the Maoists?

The central committee meeting of our party has put forth a 10-point roadmap. A broad political conference should be organized comprising all the political forces including the representation of all the levels of the seven parties, the Maoists and civil society. We have been stressing for a roundtable conference for the last few years. That conference will be more powerful than the present House and will work as an interim constitution. The all-powerful interim government formed afterwards will hold the constituent assembly elections.

Nepali people want peace and the present government has been somewhat successful in establishing it. What has hampered taking the talks process ahead?

The government has taken a positive step towards creating an environment conducive for talks. But the government should not confine itself just to that. Doubts will be raised if it gets stuck just there.

Perhaps, since the announcement has been made to go for constituent assembly elections, there should be no uncertainties?

Yes, theoretically an agreement has been reached. We shouldn’t forget the experience of the present House as it has approved various proposals of national interest. But such decisions are still pending so far. To be optimistic, the government itself has presented such proposals in the parliament and that all the oppositions have welcomed them. It’s totally false that the proclamation has made the king powerless. The king is still in a position to hatch a conspiracy. There could still be interference by foreign powers. There are still some forces that do not want peace and stability in the country. There are such forces conspiring against us to stop us from the peace process. It can’t be said that such forces, that committed incidents like Doramba, will not repeat their tactics against us. The whole peace process depends on how responsibly the seven-party government will come forward.

Don’t you believe that a conducive environment for the implementation of all the decisions exists since you have been collaborating with the seven parties for some time now?

This government is different than any others in the past. We have called it the seven-party government and not one of the old regimes. Saying that the present government is formed by the pressure of the mass movement, we mean that we are a part of the movement. We have come to assist the government. We have come here to collaborate with it, not to struggle. We will encourage and assist the government to take a concrete step towards constituent assembly elections. So, the talks this time will be different compared to the past two ones.

When will the talks begin?

We will start now. First the government should release all our political detainees. The government should not delay as it has expressed its commitment towards the 12-point understanding. The whereabouts of all our comrades who have disappeared at the hands of the past government should be made public. The government has responded responsibly on this issue. Talks should be held after completing all these tasks. We are for accomplishing the talks process as soon as possible. We have also stressed on quickly going for constituent assembly elections jointly.

So the whole process will move ahead after your participation in the government?

We will not participate in the present government but will join the interim government. Before that the old constitution should be annulled and the new interim constitution should be drafted. After the formation of the interim constitution, all the organs of the state will be at the interim stage and through that phase it will be easier to go for a constituent assembly.

When will your Chairman Prachanda come for the final negotiations?

It depends on the climate of trust. All our senior comrades including the chairman will come for talks at the time of the final decision, when the process for the constituent assembly elections begins.

Will Prachanda come only for the final signature?

Yes, our chairman will lead from our side and Prime Minister Girija Prasad Koirala, as the head of the seven parties, will sit for negotiations. For that we need to accomplish all the procedures.

You seem to be assisting the government but at the same time you have intensified extortions and abductions. How will it be supportive in creating an environment for talks?

Hmm, I need to tell you a little bit about this. We recently studied the case of the industries shut in Bara and Parsa. We had begun asking donations with industrialists in the past. But this time the issue has been raised sharply. Arguments on the ordinary issues of donations, military (Maoists’) demonstrations and abductions are rife.

The elements that are against the talks, have attempted to break up the peace talks, by raising such issues. We have no option but to ask donations from the people for our army. We have directed all out cadres not to take money forcibly. Our friends have handed over the fake Maoists from Kathmandu as well. What has been said on abductions is false, who have not abducted anyone. Some people have come to us and asked us to call it abduction for security reasons. We have not demonstrated our arms in the city. We do not agree that the people are intimidated by the Maoists.

A large section of the people are with us and that is why we have arrived at this position. The more the talks gain momentum the more such issues will decrease. There were several complications before reaching the 12-point understanding. The environment for collaboration was created after that. Politics will resolve every problem; there is no room to doubt us.

Why do you ask for donations when the government has already said it is ready to allocate a budget for the Maoist army?

We will seriously present this issue during the talks. We will stop asking donations from the people if the government provides the budget to our army.

How can the Maoist militia be managed before the constituent assembly elections?

We have not taken it as a big issue. An army can easily be managed if a political solution is reached. The problem doesn’t lie with our army; it’s with the Royal Nepalese Army. The army (King’s) was mobilized against the people and has been in favour of the monarchy for the last 238 years. It will be a serious mistake to believe that everything is all right just by saying that the RNA is now under the control of the House. We have proposed for a restructuring of the state and army.

A new National Army can be formed after merging our army and the RNA.

There are no obstacles from our side to go for free and fair elections. Both the armies (RNA and Maoist) can be neutralized. It has been mentioned on the 12-point understanding that the armies can be kept under UN or any credible organization’s supervision.

Will it be problematic, as the RNA has already been converted to the Nepali Army?

The RNA has been converted into the Nepali Army only in words not in practice. There are still aristocrats, feudalistic thoughts and opinions existing within the RNA, which cannot be changed overnight by one decision.

But, it has been mentioned that if the Nepal Army is weakened, problems might be created if the Maoists suddenly try to take control?

We have said (before and after reaching the 12-point understanding) that our army is everyone’s army. We had even proposed the seven parties to induct their cadres in our army and take responsible positions. We are ready to make our army- the army of the seven parties. It will be a great delusion on their part if they trusted the king’s army rather than that of the people’s.

When will the people get the chance to hear of peace?

We want to end this process as soon as possible. But it doesn’t depend only on our desire. We are hopeful that the people’s dream will come true soon.

Have you begun talks with the government?

I have begun holding informal talks. We are pressuring the government to start the talks immediately. The government has still not been able to form a talks team. The government lacks seriousness. We, on the other hand, are already ready for talks.

Published by UWB

Pioneering blog from Nepal...since 2004.

45 thoughts on “A Maoist Leader Talks About Peace Talks

  1. Interview of 5th man like Mahara does not matter much. They always change the position and this time also there is a danger of failure of talks because of Maoitst. Can you believe people like who are killing the poorest people on earth in the name of idealogy? Actually they are like Pol Pot.

  2. We will see if these words are turned into deeds. If not, Maoists should know that people will rise against them as well. This is the third time we are talking about talks. And we really need result, not another round of Godavari or Hapure. People are tired of [icd] war and both sides should be sincere. Especially the Maoists should be sincere this time because the Parliament resolution has achieved so many things.

  3. If people rise up against the Maoists they will simply be shot down. Don’t be fooled.

  4. Hey Bideshi which people are you talkin bout?? The people like you?? Moral cowards, who think they are doin a great job of defendin democracy by posting some crap on the blog!! Wake up buddy! People aren’t afraid of being shot down for a cause. Had they been we wouldn’t have witnessed the change.

    Thus stop disparaging people. People simply have no reasons to rise up against Maoists who are fighting for their cause.

    And yes, a handful of people like you, surely have the privilage of dreaming about the “people” rising against Maoists as you could never do that on your own!

  5. so this gune did this interview with mahara saab ! no ideological questions threreof !this gune is one whu regularly litters the op-ed page of kantipur !
    he sud have asked ideological questions ! what really maoists’ new democracy means? if they will follow the legacy of lenin or not once the CA is against themselves !wat wud these maoists do once they be in majority in the CA ? if that happens , will they not march ahead for a people’s republic ? and if bourgiese parties will be allowed to exist in their people’s republic? how long will this strange bedfellows keep on making this show ? and how they r going to fight the imperialism ? how r they going to build their ” self-dependent national economy ” ? wat’s their view on market ?
    one need to ask some hard questions to these maoists !gune can’t do that ! he always provs that in his op-ed pieces where he just jumbles the words to make no sense ! but guys let’s try having a reality check with these maoists !

  6. I completely agree with you Bideshi!

    When I listen to Maoists’ desire for peace, I feel like reading king Gyanendra’s ‘mahanvani’ about democracy and rule of law.

    These are the people who are responsible for the death of thousands of innocent Nepalese. They should first be held accountable for their past atrocities, before starting any formal negotiation.

    Those who think that the Maoists will give some peace to the people of Nepal are too naive to be called human beings.

  7. I think the Kantipur does not have guts to question them on their atrocities rather asked them what would leke to be asked.

    I would class this interview as worthless to read.

  8. 91.5MHz, Everytime people have risen up against the Maoists they have usually being brutally killed by them. That is what has happened. Have the Maoists changed? Not yet me thinks.

  9. The “people” who forced the king’s hand were faced by their own friends and family in the security forces. The Maoists will have no such compassion. The “people” have no guns.

  10. Health is good coz they are eating from the loot money. We have to work and they only give threats with guns. Thats the difference.

  11. Bideshi doesn’t seem to have understood my point of view. What i mean is that there is simply no solid reasons for people to rise against the Maoists!! Had there been, lack of guns or the sheer fear of being shot down would have hardly dettered people, who challenged a lot more brutal Royal Army of Gyanendra, to face the Maoists!

  12. They believe in propoganda in Goebbles style. One leader will say one thing and another will deny tomorrow early morning. Matrika said they want PM post in the Interim govt and Prachanda said it was not the view of Maoists. Some of the details of the interview might be denied tomorrow by Prachanda. So , whom do you believe ? until they reach to the power, they are like this.

    They are not accontable to anybody.They have gathered some illiterate youths who cannot have any jobs, to have their so called PLA. Their policy is anti-people, anti-poor and killings of poor and downtrodden. Actually they are backed by Indian Govt. Otherwise they cannot survive in a landlocked country.

    Nepalese Army has also not been honest and accuontable to the people till now. They were doing what Kings were ordering them. Because, if they had been honest to the people, this problem would have been solved within the peripheri of Rolpa district only.

  13. the mob is wantin to beat up all docs..next it will be private school principles, next it will be businessmen, then next will be engineers, then lawyers, then beauroccrats, then hindu priests……dont u think things r goin rather well???

  14. Layman, I don’t believe India wants to promote the Maoist movement in Nepal at all! They have plenty of Maoist problems of their own. Consider this: who would have common cause with the Maoists against a Hindu government? Isalmic elements? Kashmiri seperatists? Where did the hijacked Indian Airlines flight end up? Kandahar, Bin Laden’s HQ at the time. Consider.

  15. I do not know what Indians will do in future, but till now Maoists are backed by Indians. Otherwise, even 12 point understanding was not possible.It was done with the facilitation of Indian govt. Otherwise how a declared terrorists can be met by Tom, Dick and Harry from Nepal in the Indian capital. Your name is Bideshi, how far you reside I do not know.

  16. I also dont understand the indian policy regarding the nepalese maoists,,in one hand they captured some maoist leaders like mohan baidhya,,on the other hand they are giving the bunglow and all other facilities to prachanda and baburam,,,In fact they have declared the maoists as the terrorists,,,,if they want they can arrest prachanda n party any time they want,,,,am i true????I beliv the indians are playing game with us,,their political tactfulness is far better than others,,,later they will use it as a hukum kaa ikkka.

  17. This Mahara guy seriously believes that his “peoples army” is really the peoples army. Can you believe thius nut case? After this interview I am convinced that their only and ultimate agenda is their totalitarian rule. There is nothing in this interview that makes me think “Wow, the maoists now want to participate in multi party democracy”.
    Everything is by the red book so as to speak. I wonder why interviewers beat around the bush and not ask the following questions:

    1. Will you accept multi party democracy as the agenda for CA elections (i.e. no one party agendas)

    2. How do you expect the Nepal army and your army to get along when they do not see eye to eye, especially in the lower ranks?

    3. How can you claim you have always been sincere in your attemppts at talks in the past, when you have only used the period to regroup and rearm?

    4.How is this SPA government different from others? It is the same people. Do you mean you are calling the shots by saying peoples wish?

    5. Most of the people you talk of when you say “the people”, want you to lay down arms well before the CA elections, infact now. In that respect why do you only talk of peoples will with regard to others and not yourselves? Does the maoist think they are above the will of the people and that they are the answer to all the peoples problems even though public opinion says otherwise?

    6. You have been successful at opposition especially an armed one, so please can you tell us about how you and your party intends to govern with regard to –
    a. sustained economic growth
    b. increased level of employment
    and, where will you find the funding?

    7. Finally, if your Chairman is so popular and is leading the people and their will, why is he still underground?

  18. 91.5MHz

    In past there are some cases where people have rised against maoists and killed them. If these chands, kidnapping and killing continues then its just a matter of time when all maoists will be Erased.

  19. if the people and democracy is betraied by the Maobadis, people in urban and remote areas can withdraw their support and cooperate with NA, then they cannot hide anywhere. They need the support of the people like all other parties.

  20. Laxmi please understand that the people in the villages have no guns. Even if the Nepal Army secures an area the Maoists will return later and take reprisal against any who have resisted them. This is a very dirty business and will not be settled peacefully.

  21. Layman said: “Your name is Bideshi, how far you reside I do not know.”
    East of Kathmandu, not too far from Bhaktapur.

  22. Will 91.5mhz send MB to find me and kill me now in the name of peace?

  23. I meant to say where or what is your connection. Are you a maobadis supporter, India supporter, SPA supporter or King’s supporter ?

    Because people are divided like the Newspapers as follows:

    Kantipur and TKP: India supporter and anti-king.
    Nepal Samachar Patra.Pretend to be Neutral but secretly Royal supporter.
    Himlayan Times:paid by India.
    Himal Khabarpatrika:Anti royal and pro-
    democracy with Rana Money.
    Budhbar: UML
    Deshanter: NC
    Chhalfal:UML
    Dushanirdesh: NC D
    Jana Aastha: UML faction.
    Janadharana:Revolutionary Royalist.
    Khojtalash:NC

    So, as Rajnish has said everybody has a price.When the newspapers and people start thinking pro-country, pro-people, pro-poor ? And unbiased ?

  24. I support the Nepal Army because it is the only counter to the Maoist army. They have no leader, however. SPA is useless. King has no popular support. I hope for a Musharef to appear from the shadows and unify the effort against a Maoist takeover. I fear no one has the courage. You asked my position and there it is. I am behind whoever can defeat the Maoists. This is an oversimplification of course. We need a representative government, not a military junta. But first we have to defeat the enemy of our way of life that threatens the survival of our nation. Then elections.

  25. I am also near to your position but I still think that we should give a last chance to Maoists so that they can prove themselves at the “court of the people”. They have an opportunity to show honesty and responsibilty to the people. I want to see how they behave in this Third Talks with the Government which came to power with their “help”. If they behave like anarchists or like the Pol Pot regime, then I will be with you to take arms against them.If the quarrel can be settled peacefully, why do we go for bloodbath ?

  26. It is an oversimplification. A pure military solution is not the solution. The Maoists do have a lot of supporters-have you ever tried to understand why? Unless issues such as corruption, marginalization, discrimination and pure govt. apathy to the problems of the people are addressed Nepal will always have problems. If these problems were addressed effectively do you think the Maoists would have a leg to stand on?

  27. Now yes, with the military power they have built up an the opposition in disarray. The strategic position they are in is a Field Marshall’s dream. But you are 100% correct that the social ills that allowed the birth of the Maoist movement in the first place must be addressed. Constitution says women shall have equal rights with men. The very next article negates that saying a child’s citizenship is determined by the father’s citizenship. That can be fixed, but what about land distribution? Will the Maoists respect existing title to land? I think not. There are some solvable problems and some that may not be. We can’t satisfy all 10 points. Now what?

  28. In a least developed country like Nepal there is always corruption, marginalization, discrimination doesn’t matters who ever comes to the power.
    Maoists are just talk to talk NO talk with walk.

  29. well BetterNepal have you noticed that least developed countries like Nepal usually have a lot of problems too? Uh, is there not a correlation?

  30. Bideshi, I am not saying that the Govt. should appease the Maoists-I am saying that the Govt. should address the problems of the people so that in desperation they don’t have to support armed politicians like the Maoists.

    BetterNepal-today the Maoists are the problem, if the people face the same problems after the Maoists are gone it will be something else. So the real problem is the neglect of the peoples problem. Armed rebels like the Maoists are just a symptom of the real problems.

  31. Yes that is truly the symptom of the disease. But just like cholera, you have to treat the symptoms to keep the patient alive. The social ills will take much longer to correct than is available before a Maoist military victory. I hope I am wrong and you can all have a good laugh at my expense, but I am very much afraid that I am absolutely right.

  32. In my opinion you are partially correct-sure the symptons have to be treated-but at the same time the virus must also be dealt with, otherwise the Maoists will just keep on recruiting more and more from their support base. Remember what Mao said? ‘We(PLA) are the fish and the people are the sea’ We need to isolate the fish from the sea.

  33. Maoists must come to the realities of REALPOLITIK. They should not say MERO GORU KO BARAI TAKKA. They should think about the hardships suffered by the general public. Many problems are created by themselves. I also do not agree with Kirat that all Maoists took guns because of going against social ills only.They are lured to it by other TATHA BATHA maoists. Nobody wants to kill your own friends,brothers and sisiters for nothing.

    If the maoists would be the concious people, they will not intoxicate themselves before going to attack a police or an army barrack.That means that they did not become Maoist by their complete adherence to any ideaology but by only economic compulsion.What I wanted to say is that it is not by Maoists ideology or philosophy as such they are attracted to it, more by economic compulsion. They are not devoted communist like Cubans in Cuba of 1959 revolution or chinese communists like in 1949.I hope you understood my point.

  34. Layman, I did not say that all Maoists took guns to fight social ills. Please do not misinterpret. I said the Maoists took advantage of the anger and frustration of the people who were suffering at the hands of govt. neglect.

  35. sri,
    I thank you for your good questions to Maoists. Nepalese people should be vigilent against the ill intentions of Maoists. They should not be allowed to roam around with their arms in the rural and urban areas.

    What the army and APF are doing ? If on 19 Jestha, they go inside Singha Durbar or Baluwatar, what they will do ?

    Can they protect the people ? There may be a very dangerous situation on that day.

  36. Until there is a big reform of our security forces from top to bottom, don’t expect them to be able to handle the PLA. An untrained and unprofessional security force could only make things worse-remember Sierra Kilo?

  37. In one of the blogs, one guy gave a “very important info” saying that former and (present also) chiefs of the security forces are trying to have counter revolution by killing the Maoists leaders when they come to public. Would that be possible again to return the King’s rule by such act ? Or they are trying to create fullfledged anarchy like in Somalia.

  38. Child solder’s blood, widow’s curse, and forced migrant’s wrath will never let maoist rule this country with ease. The only way they can rule is by Reign of Terror- which does not last long. But the point is why give them this chance.

    Mahara can be eloquent and Kantipur can play a side kick but it is abundantly clear that Moaist have forked tongue- by selling dream of “Utopia” they kill, maim, and torture in the name of indoctrination, class orientation, and nationalization of businesses, schools, banks,houses, cars, personal rights.

    Drop the idea of having a DEMOCRATIC Maoism, there is no such thing.

  39. Maosim does not compute to or equate to democracy. How can you even believe a bunch of guys who even dress and look the part od communist totalitarians. I see Mahara has shaved his commie beard trying to make us think he has changed. However, beards grow back easily, especially if you have a lot of it like Mahara.

  40. Maobadi, you are really terrorist. leave your arms and then come to discuss any thing. you can not prove anything. you have no logic. you just has arms and terror.

  41. I agree with Sr & some of you who have said this was one of the most weakest interview I have ever read. Kantipur’s Luitel & Magar are spineless. This might as well have been the Maoist mouth piece & propoganda.

    Its time for UWB to act up & ask the real questions. Or all of us could write an open letter to Mahara in Kantipur, Kathmandu Post & all the major newspapers. May be, we can get the REAL answers then.

  42. The Economies Of Cows
    Socialism You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

    Communism You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and gives you some milk.

    Fascism You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and sells you some milk.

    Nazism You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

    Bureaucracy You have 2 cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.

    Traditional Capitalism You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiples, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    An American Corporation You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.

    A French Corporation You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A Japanese Corporation You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them world-wide.

    A German Corporation You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

    An Italian Corporation You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A Russian Corporation You have two cows. You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A Swiss Corporation You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    A Chinese Corporation You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

    An Indian Corporation You have two cows. You worship them.

    An Irish Corporation You have two cows. You claim government subsidies for eight cows.

    A British Corporation You have two cows. Both are mad

    Nepali Corporation You think you have two cows but in reality you don’t have any but you expect the donors to give you a jersey cow.

    Shree 0 Surya Bdr: Take care of the cows you have otherwise the bulls will attack you from the rear and you loose everything again for the second time. A word from the wise should be enough.

    Shree 1 Pashupati SJB: I have my ancestral cows but now your cows are mine too. But I cannot take care of my cows like my shed.

    Shree 2 Shere Bdr: Your two cows are mine. Not to worry: they will be insured (remember when I was PM). They will be given pajeros, life saving expensive drugs (only bills enough), bulls will get pregnant and foreign tours will be organized. They will be happy with me like the corrupt cows around me (who can beat the herd I have). Eventually hand over the herd to the lord.

    Shree 3 Makune: Your two cows are mine. Now I also want the bulls too according to our party decision. You still have chickens, cats, dogs, rats …. They are mine and my parties. Why? Are you so dumb … this is the wish of the sahid and according to the mandate of Janaaldolan 2 like the previous one. Happy smile. What is good for my party is good for you.

    Shree 4 Girija: Your two cows are mine. Now go find more cows for the rest of my family and some for my party … after all I have to promote my dynasty to replace the one gone. Even Maoist have proposed me as first President. Dumb commies. I will manipulate for a non-Nepali, young, female, temperamental, corrupt. … but after all a former Koirala – Sujata Jost. Smile. What is good for my family is good for you.

    Shree 5: No cows in the shed.

    Shree 6 Pachanda: Your two cows are mine plus the land they stand on. Now you have to work for me to take care of the cows. Plus you have to give informal tax (chanda) to take care of the cows, feed you as labourer, dress you in green and give you a bicycle. Why are you not listening to me? I will kill you Pol Pot style. Laughter. What is good for me is good for you.

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