Daily Archives: December 24, 2005

The Snow Girl: Lady from Pokhara where people experience the world famous mountain Machhapuchhre in Phewa Lake, got opportunity to play with snow only after she reached the States. So how was the adventure? “Might have been romantic,” she writes in this blog, “if only I had been with my boyfriend.” And quickly adds, “damn.”

By Archana Parajuli in Portland, OR.
Saturday Blog. Theme of the blog: Lost, Alone, Invisible & Empty

The truck was stuck in the thick snow. We could do nothing, there was no help in sight and it was too late and risky to head to the highway eight miles to the south. There’s always the danger of hyperthermia. It was 6 o’clock and it was already dark. We were doomed, for the day at least. We’d have to do away with the jeep and the little food we had carried. Good lord, this was a situation unexpected.

It was my first tryst with snow. Hadn’t touched it or felt it, ever. But let me tell you, the situation I was in wasn’t as romantic as shown in some movies- being stuck in the middle of nowhere, where even the cell phone was adamant to throw up some signals (Might have been romantic if only I had been with my boyfriend… damn).

December 17, 2005: Having just finished the finals, I had a late night. I had watched Pirates of the Caribbean Curse of the Black Pearl, one of my favorites (I just can’t seem to get enough of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom). My uncle woke me at around 7.50 and asked me if I wanted to go to the mountains. I wasn’t prepared at all. But I knew if I didn’t grab this opportunity another was far away. It seldom snows in Portland.

I born and brought up in a place where Machhapuchere [aka Fish Tail] seemed like it was just an arm’s stretch away. That was in Pokhara, the place I call home. Seen it covered with snow all the year round. But here I was in America craving to touch the snow. And I’m the one who goes around telling people that I come from the country of Mount Everest (that’s the situation for most of the Nepalis I guess).

We left at around 8.15. We’d go to Chad (our neighbor)’s property which was at the other side of Mt. Hood, east of Portland. We’d snow hike and also get some firewood and a Christmas tree. YO HO.

There were three of us- me, Chad and my Uncle (I call him Kaka). The trip was really good. I was enjoying every moment of it. Snow ball fighting, clicking pictures and eating in the under construction- ultra modern shack that had come along with the property. Chad had bought this property of 80 acres with some friends some 2 months back. We could see deer roaming around and also foot impressions of rabbits and elks (Chad is a hunter so he could tell which foot impression belonged to which animal). This was real break for me. Being in America and being able to enjoy the nature sounds like a contradiction but hey, there is more to America then just the high rise buildings, burgers and Bush’s crap!

Archie with her Kaka.

Kaka had to make it to a dance competition at my cousin’s school at 6. He was one of the judges (you are supposed to laugh at this because anyone who knows kaka will know judging a dance competition is just not his thing). So at around 2.30 with some firewood and a Christmas tree we headed back.

Chad is someone who loves living on the edge. Adventure is what he is made for and he wasn’t getting one today, yet.

We reached a cross road. Now we got to decide if we wanted to return the way we came or try out another way, which would have snow all the way. Well, you guessed it right we took the snowy road. We had passed some 16 miles when we realized that the road had not been ploughed for quite sometime. My uncle was intuitive enough to say- hey lets go back and return the way we came. But Chad and I wanted to keep on driving that way. It was more fun to be driving in the snow between the woods than in the smoothly tarred road and also, the highway was much nearer if we kept on going this way.

Brrum brrum! The truck didn’t want to move further. We got out and checked the wheels. It was in deep snow and the time was exactly 3.50.

Now all we could do was wait for other vehicles to come by which would perhaps help us out. But we had just passed two trucks on our way and that was it. We had left them far behind. Thinking we could perhaps find some help anyway Chad decided to run the way we came (not all the way but about 1-2 miles). Kaka and I would be in the truck and see if any other vehicle came by the other way.

We waited and waited and waited. And we still waited. We hoped that Chad would find someone to help us. It was 6 when Chad returned. Our hope turned into despair when he said there was no one in sight and that we had actually missed a sign saying the road was closed starting December 15. The trucks we had passed on our way surly must have seen the sign and returned back. Bravo, what an adventure.

Archie with Chad

There was no option for us besides sleeping in the car for the night. We decided we’d walk to highway 35 early in the morning and see if we could send the message home and ask them to pick us up. We kept our fingers crossed praying that everyone at home wouldn’t go hysteric and start a search operation in the night.

We cuddled up in the car, turned on the heat and ate the tortilla chips (it turned out to be my breakfast, lunch and dinner) with some good dip kaka had prepared out of avocado. The boiled eggs and the tinned sardines we found in the car would be our breakfast (we thanked Isabel, Chadâ??s partner, for forgetting the sardines in the car. That was a blessing).

It was a typical winter night (it’s not yet winter though. I think they call it fall). Had we been filming a horror movie the set was perfect. Full moon, three people stuck in the middle of the woods, and the cell phone dead. The trees were throwing eerie shadows and the howling of the wind could make someone like me do what kids do the best (I’m strong when it comes to living beings but dead people. Encounter with one would be my worst nightmare and I fear that every night.)

None of us could sleep. And especially me who was always throwing a glance at the windows expecting the face of lord Voldermot pressed against it. I was least bothered about dying because of the cold but being killed by some GHOSTS.

So began the story telling. Kaka went on to tell the story about his life and Chad told his. Mine wasn’t even an inch interesting as theirs so I just shut up. We dozed off at around 3. The window was all covered with ice when we woke up at 5.30. (Thank god didn’t see anything. Maybe because this was America. I guess there are no ghosts here.) We had our breakfast and headed out towards highway 35. It was some 8 mile walk.

After a mile or so Chad decided he’d run and get to the highway ASAP and try and send the message home that we were safe.

The walk for kaka and me would have been an eternity but we starting talking about me and all the pressure that my parents were putting on me to get married to some ‘cultured guy from a good family’ and time flew. Yahoo, Kaka was on my side!

We were walking at the base of Mt. Hood. Even our eye lashes froze. But the walk was pleasant. There was so much energy within us. Perhaps it was the hope for a warm bath, our cozy bed and the warm food that was driving us on. Without even knowing, we were in the highway. Chad was waiting for us. He had reached there 45 minutes ahead of us and somehow managed to send the message home.

People from the Oregon Department of Transportation would come and pick us up and take us to there office. Our family would then pick us up from there.

It was not until we reached the ODoT office that we came to know that the search for us had started in the night at 12.30. Chad’s family and my brother were all around searching for us (there were 25 people looking for us!). All the rescue team in Oregon had been informed early morning. Thankfully the press hadn’t sniffed it yet.

The time hadn’t been that bad for us but I could imagine the anxiety of the people who were waiting for us. They had expected the worst. Some even thought we might have been eaten by some unidentified objects!

Well, we returned home. On our way, the icy rain started to hit and by the time we reached home the roads were all covered with snow. But there is no wow from me now. Iâ??ve spent a whole night in the snow, walked in knee deep snow with the icy wind blowing on my face. What is this one inch of snow? Nothing but solid water.

Archana Parajuli is a former Kathmandu Post reporter who is now studying in Portland, OR.

25 Responses to “From Machhapuchhre To Mount Hood”

Anjan Says:
December 24th, 2005 at 3:27 am

Oh yeh! My dear sis…It wasn’t as adventurous as it seems in the blog…especially for us who went on for the rescue….you guys dozed off at 3 am…we did not even do that

I_miss_all_fun Says:
December 24th, 2005 at 3:57 am

Next time you walk into the wild, inform me please! We won’t take kaka and Chad. It will just be us!!

He he!

Its an interesting story. Good that you all are fine!

13yLAMA Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 11:01 am
Thats very much interesting folks around himalayan mountain. This time is fine, so next time not you and kaka but you and me .OK

non- for- profit Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 11:15 am
come to the Moutains of Idaho okay….u and me

Evergreen smile Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 5:37 pm
Hi there,
What an irony that having born in the lap of Machhapuchre, u had to travel all the way to US to smell the snow. True, life is full of ironies! Still, enjoyed reading ur snowy odyssey!

Agya Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 7:47 pm
hey archana…
scary…..and I am “J”…but that doesn’t mean we give up our yeti searchin plans does it?? wink wink

Achilese Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 9:18 pm
My lord! you are not eaten by the snow.

Achilese Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 9:21 pm
Badshaha is waiting for you.

sanobahini Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 11:55 pm
unbelievably stupid. you never want to go in the high mountains like that without snow tires and chains or four wheel drive. and to keep the heat on in the car, you could have died of carbon monoxide poisoning. but it looks a lot like my home in wyoming. now perhaps some of you who make fun of me in wyoming as a few on this blog have will realize an amazing country, so immense. that is why i keep guns, too. because we have grizzlies there….mt. hood is amazing, but next time, come prepared, girl. either you, chad or your kaka were very immature and could have died out there.

oh, and about bush_ have some respect, please. he is our president, like him or not. we have given you a chance to come to our country, the land of the free, so please respect our leader. even if we disagree with his policies, we respect him as the leader of the free world, which you are enjoying right now due to our largesse i letting you in the door.

Rohit Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 2:25 am
I know of only one thing that is free in America—ignorance and stupidity.

twaaks Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 5:38 am
Ah! with bush, “you’re either with us or against us” no in betweens and no comments please!

Chandan Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 10:23 am
Archana didi,
U r enjoying holidays in snow! huh…u have gotten fat…anyowe see that…that skin thin Archana has gained some weight (not some but a lot)…even in snow her fat did not contract…too much of staurated fat gained…hehehheheh…

sanobahini Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 3:12 pm
we are not ignorant in america, the country that has brought more people out of poverty than any other countrz in the world, thanks to democracy and capitalism. and we are not stupid. if we were, we would not be the worlds lone superpower and promiting peace and democracy in your country, and around the world, wishing you the prosperity we do.

for us or against us is not the point. the point is we have a leader of the free world we respect. he is not an autocrat. he is not letting his own people suffer while he enjoys immense wealth. our president, in a country of 260 million people, makes US 200,000 dollars a year only. compare that to the millions and millions your king and your poiliticians have stolen from you poor nepalese. we have the rule of law in the usa, as well. whatever you think of iraq or other policies, we are proud to be americans and wave our flag with pride, not with shame, as many nepalese feel these days(and as you rightly shoudl feel, as it is shameful what the king, the politicians and the maoists are doing pushing your small tiny himalayan kingdom over a cliff)

oh, and yes, all of you who come to the usa on student visas, you are given VISAS. you are guests in our country. remember that.

and, finally, the point of this article was her unfortunate episode in the snow, which was a result of total and complete STUPIDITY. no one ever goes up into the high mountains like that in the usa without proper equipment. i live in a wilderness area in the usa. i have 4wd, carry sandbags in my car for extra traction, have emergency supplies, food, blankets and flares in case of emergeny. we have huge amounts of wilderness in the usa where there are few if any people, huge amounts many many times larger than little nepal. she could have died out there, and it is no wonder they were out looking for her. it was just plain foolish.

Archana Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 2:05 am
hello sano bahini ji,
i’ve seen u make to the point tht u comment on everyone’s stuff no matter how weak ur argument is.. for ur saying that we should be ashamed of ourselves and our country ur r absolutely wrong.. why should we be ashamed? we are proud to be nepalis.. mind u not nepalese…. but nepalis…… we see a silver lining in what ever is going on in our country at this time…. u hav every right to show ur patriotism but hav no right to question ours.. we r proud to be nepalis…. yes we are guest in your country.. now please brag.. but ur country is made up of all the immigrantes, u too perhaps come from an immigrant family…. u guys dispalced the native americans.. encroached their land and settled in.. well who should be ashamed me or u? we’ve not done anything unethical to others.. what ever is happenning is happenning within our country..and we’d love it if u’‘d stop judging us..

BOSS Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 5:25 am
wassup!! nice blog!

twaaks Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 7:03 am
Well… Dear Ms. Sanobahini, it was not my intention to offend you in any way but since you seem offended, let me clarify my position. Let me analyze your comments point by point,

“we are not ignorant in america, the country that has brought more people out of poverty than any other countrz in the world, thanks to democracy and capitalism. and we are not stupid. if we were, we would not be the worlds lone superpower and promiting peace and democracy in your country, and around the world, wishing you the prosperity we do.”

well I never said that you were ignorant or that you were not rich. so please do not impose your complexes on me.

“for us or against us is not the point” – well what is then? you invaded a country based on that doctrine and president bush did estimate 30,000 death toll in iraq, incidentally that is a 100 times more people that were killed during 9/11. even if you assume that iraq with saddam plotted 9/11 that is unjustified. unless of course you equate 10 americans as 1 iraqi.

“the point is we have a leader of the free world we respect”

that you respect. the fact that you respect him does not mean that the whole world has to respect him. unless if you force it upon peoples throat by promoting your magnamity. respect is something that must be earned, it does not come because of position or heredity or else prince paras would
have been the most repectable person in the world.

“he is not an autocrat. he is not letting his own people suffer while he enjoys immense wealth. our president, in a country of 260 million people, makes US 200,000 dollars a year only. compare that to the millions and millions your king and your poiliticians have stolen from you poor nepalese”

well what about the multinationals that have sucked the blood of poor people too? every company from enron (remember those guys? they wanted to develop middle marshyangdi) to the drug companies that would not extend the patent right to indian companies to develop medicines against the SARS or the AIDS that can be distributed to people at a cheaper price.

“we have the rule of law in the usa, as well” – yes you do, but is it perfect and is it the only way that you are so sure that you would export it to every country in the world to be made in your own image?

“whatever you think of iraq or other policies, we are proud to be americans and wave our flag with pride” – are you claiming this staement for all of America? if you are, isn;t that against the very essence of democrace where you claim that the very act of dissent is unpatriotic? I for one do not see a difference between king G, maoists or your president bush in this issiue.

“oh, and yes, all of you who come to the usa on student visas, you are given VISAS. you are guests in our country. remember that.” – we do remeber that and every day, because we are never made to forget. but please remember that we are allowed to have our opinions unless you say that “all people are equal but some people are more equal than others because……” fill in the blanks yourself.

“and, finally, the point of this article was her unfortunate episode in the snow, which was a result of total and complete STUPIDITY.” – that I very much agree with.

“i have 4wd, carry sandbags in my car for extra traction, have emergency supplies, food, blankets and flares in case of emergeny. we have huge amounts of wilderness in the usa where there are few if any people” – so does a lot of parts in the world

sorry for my irreverence, but I could not help myself, being the radical that I am…. I hope that you take this in good faith, the only thing that I wanted to point out was there can be more than one point of view to any opinion, satement or even a sentence printed in a newspaper or an online blog.

Sinke Changbaa Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 4:07 pm
U’re on my mind, ever since you have been gone
I keep thinking of you from dusk to dawn
Can’t wait for the day that you’ll be back for me
Coz without you everything is as meaningless as it can be…

I MISS YOU SO MUCH

sanobahini Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 11:09 pm
archana, can you not write proper english? i am shocked you are in the usa. you write like a child.

i am an american. i am part native american. native american tribes are doing very well in the usa. you did not even seem to know there was snow in the usa. so perhaps you do not realiye how prospersous many native americans are now. do you know many of the casinos in the usa that bring in millions of dollars are owned by native americans? go to the arapahoe nation tribe’s own website to read about their business and enterprises. they are the closest tribe to my home in rural wyoming.

i was born in america and my family came here in the 1600s. i am not an immigrant. i am a native born american and proud of it.

i am sorry you are so hateful to our country. but you are there because there is nothing for you in nepal. so instead of whining and bitching all the time, as most of you nepalese in the usa do, why not be thankful? why not stop complaining about everything and thinking that nepal is so wonderful and great. you know well it is not. otherwise, you would not be running away. look at how many are desperate to get dvd lotteries. the usa was great long before you were born. that is why most people in the world want to come there, not live in misery in a third world shithole…i used to live there, did some good work there, but now i am older and realize how lucky i am that i could LEAVE and go back to my beautiful country, America. the land of the free and the brave.

and if you don’t think so, then please, leave America. we do not need you.

archana Says:

December 27th, 2005 at 2:02 am
sad thing native americans in oregon don’t think the way u do and for my english, i had no idea u could get into such petty matters when u couldn’t prove ur point…… get creative and talk some sense or just fool urself about ur grand thoughts and ideas….spare the blog please..

krishna oli Says:

December 27th, 2005 at 3:36 pm
Thanks for your commitmets and have great vision to go reach. May our Lord Jesus Bless all of your in efforts. Have a nice day and take care
yours krishan oli
BOX 21343 ktm,NEPAL
Tel 97712042426

sanobahini Says:

December 27th, 2005 at 5:59 pm
spare us your utter stupidity, sanobahini. i will continue to blog. it is you who needs to look at your poor english and lack of knowledge of our country. perhaps you also need to look at your own country TODAY, not hundreds of years ago as in the way europeans treated native americans. you still treat dalits like dirt, there is still slavery (as in kamaiyanas), you treat people of darker skin color, like the madhesis, like dirt. talk about racism. until you are willing to address those issues in your own country, shut up about ours. if you went to any of the native american tribes in oregon, you would find people working, going to university, building great lives and living thousands of times more prosperous lives than you do in nepal. and you call that discrimination? i am half seminole indian and part african american and french arcadian. so i am a typical american mix.
i understand discrimination and racism more than anyone, but i have never experienced it more than in NEPAL, because of the darker color of my skin…and that is the truth. i worked for ICIMOD for 3 years and was treated quite well there. but outside, i often encountered poor treatment. i have NEVER experienced that in the usa, EVER. think about that, archana.

neutralman Says:

December 27th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
Sanobahini,
Hey are you really american? Your english doesn’t sound enough american either. I agree Archana’s tiring description is almost bogus, but I agree with her regarding what america is. (Except soem factual errors). And you, too native an american, have u read ur own history how american history is colorured with black and colored’s blood? Yeah, please visit ur own Washnington museum. U will know better. And if u are upto telling Arche leave america, it’s just as much appropriate for you to leave our blog alone and not contaminate with your filthy yankee yawns.
Not so sweet talking.

ILoveNepal Says:

December 28th, 2005 at 1:49 am
Sanobahini ji,

I do not understand why you would say that we should be ashamed of ourshelves.We Nepalis love our country and there is no right what so ever for an American or any foreigner to call upon us and say that we should be ashamed of our native. We definitely are worried that things are not right in Nepal and we have the faith in ourshelves that we are going to fix it. It may take time but that time will come when all of us Nepalis will be as happy as anything and anyone can ever be.

As to the comment on “Bush’s crap” as stated in the blog…We respect America and Americans but that does not mean we HAVE to respect the current administration. And as a matter of fact, there are 50% of Americans themshelves who think that this administration whatever it does and says is crap (well may be more than 50% now as his approval rating is in the lower 40%). They feel that this president have lied to the citizens…is not a lie from such a powerful and well distinguished person to its citizens a “crap”?..you may feel differently but I definately favor the other 50% of Americans who think it is.

Sorry that you were treated in a way that you should not have been treated while in Nepal. And sorry that you do not really know what Nepal and Nepalis are all about. May be you were confined within the foreign world of ICIMOD than the real Nepal. I can put my experience here too…that being of a darker color (being a Nepali and the sad thing is that about 50% of the people here who I have talked to in the US do not even know Nepal exists) I have gone through a lot of harassment. I have not made a big deal out of it..I know it happens in Nepal (an underdeveloped third world) and I am surprised and shocked that it happens here in the US too (the most developed and the most powerful country in the world).

Keep on blogging…That’s your right but do not think that being from a third world that we are, we do not deserve respect. Take your words back that “we the Nepalis should be ahamed of ourshelves”.

Thank you

neutralman Says:

December 29th, 2005 at 4:50 am
Hey Guys,
Sanobahini doesn’t have a healthy brain to understand all these literary philosophical write ups. At the best she understands grade 5 langauage, and can know if there are grammatical errors. She boasts she worked in ICIMOD (it’s how she knew Nepal), but perhaps she worked as a typist or enterpreter. So please do not focus on her – just ignore her.

Programmer Says:

December 29th, 2005 at 9:04 pm
archana sis, welcome back to your nice words i do pray it. I’m expecting sweet and mild words from you. I do njoy read ya blogs
thanx

Our blogger emerges out of the teenage circle and, as she enters 20, shares her experience of life in this blog: “I have entered into a twilight zone between teenhood and adulthood (why use sexiest hoods like girlhood and womanhood? For I believe in gender-indifferent life, i.e. human being hood.)”

Peek-A- Boo: Little Things, I love.

By Avipsha
Birthday Blog

Ah! No sooner took birth than reached twenty. Was born yesterday, lo and behold, here I am, in the twinkling of an eye, treading on the threshold of twenty, having lived the nineteen years of life to a tee, to the lee.

Last Wednesday, I celebrated my twentieth birthday with a mute bang. Does it seem much ado about nothing in this world of people killing, dying and taking birth every second? Let it be. That’s the way cookie crumbles and you can’t help it. Life goes on. But this is why birthdays are so special to me. Happenings, the more trivial, the more pleasure-ozzing, for I cast my lot with the people who dote on little things in life. And I think there is no point in scorning the event that hurts nobody, if not benefits either.

Well, I want you to know me little. I am Avipsha, a Jane Doe. Blood is indeed thicker than water so let me begin with my hearth-and-home accounts. Mother of mine of nine who was married off to my father of twelve gave birth to me in a chilling morning of December after a couple of years they celebrated their knot’s silver jubilee. Boggles your mind? So it was, cross my heart!

In the institution I revere the most; there are two elder brothers, too reticent. They have wives, too hard-nosed. Nischal, Anjan, Ranjan and Nicky, the fruits of my sisters-in-laws’ loins, the kids-no-it-all, who do not know (avoid to realize) I am not their sister but Aunt.

Blooming in the family garden:Little shaded by the leaves of norms.

But no, neither was I born with silver spoon on my mouth nor, en famille, nor I was brought up, as snugas-a-bug-in-a-rug. But yes, was little pampered. Life was for me, more the school of hard knocks than just a bowl of cherries. They gave me enough rope but not that enough to hang myself. I have run the whole gamut of slings and arrows of life so couldn’t look at the life through rose-tinted glasses. Yet life was all beautiful, all fun and I was all smiles, all hearts.

Be all ears friends! I m talking yesterdays. I was born in a village of western Nepal that is subjected to a peak of rhododendron above and a river of rainbow trout below. I studied in a school where they stampeded us to the terraced fields in winter days and under the peepal tree in summer days and taught. I was a mediocre student, a complete math dunce with horrible handwritings and inability to draw to save my life.

At sixteen and half, I was sent to Kathmandu for further studies. I still giggle to recall how I gaped and panicked on being given RS 500 as pocket money for hadn’t spent ever such a lump on my own, if that was today, it would have been like sesame seeds in the gob of elephant.

The journey turned out to be an Avipsha-in-wonderland arrival. You love to see coy lass! Life had much to expose and that begun through the nail-biting Kathmandu odyssey. There, I suffered a sea change. There I touched the computer for the first time; I was all sweats with eyes popping out of my head. There I read my first English fiction (Gee! That happened to be an erotica by Erica Jong). Then onwards, my two-timing with computer and English crescendoed until, of late, I end up flunking computer programming and getting burnt by the sparkle Salman Rushdie raised through rubbing his magic and realism together. AH! Live to learn man! Rub-it-like-Rushdie.

Come to twenty? I have entered into a twilight zone between teen hood and adulthood (why use sexiest hoods like girlhood and womanhood? For I believe in gender-indifferent life, i.e. human being hood.) I lived just a couple of decades; you’d coin a phrase for it, quarter a life. But no, for me, it was a complete cycle of life. The journey from infanthood to twenty hood was a end in itself. Life was what life has been for me, I lived to create my own life (Thank you Sartre). You think, you work, you smile, you cry, you love and you die. Life is all the same whether you a couple a decade or a ten. Just six of one and half a dozen of another. I am extremely content with my life. I am absolutely satisfied with what life has given to me and I eagerly welcome whatever life has in store for me. I don’t regret for any mistake I committed and I hail any penalty for that. I don’t pity myself for the hardships I suffered and don’t expect any compensation for that. I don’t flatter myself for anything good I did and I don’t expect any reward for that. I don’t boast over any hard work and achievement and I don’t cry over any denied rights and forgone dream. I was what I was, and that was all I was.

I give all the credit for making these nineteen years worth calling a life to all the beautiful people around me. People are beautiful when you love them. I hurt many of them on my ego trip and they reciprocated on the same errand. They loved me crazily and they contempt me madly. But that was all fun. And in my all modesty, I can safely say, wherever I went, I made people remember me with fondness. I am sorry for everyone of them whom I vexed and forgive everyone who pained me. I am thankful to everyone who loved me and remained by side in all the good times and bad times. I am grateful to everyone who accepted my company and let me love themselves.

No Matter what might be there in the offing: life below is beautiful.

Oops! I am balancing my life, I am crediting and debiting people around me. Does it read like renunciation or suicide note? No way! Life is a too beautiful tapestry to tear it at an impulse. But you can raise a million dollar question, if I am this knee deep in life, what I live for another day? Well, actually I live to die another day, to fight another day with the swords of words . I live to see the world reigned by words.

WOW! Lets talk words. For all my life, I have lived and breathed words, words of all sorts, written, printed, sang, cited and typed and even the invisibles. And I aspire to be a person of none other than letters. But what I am graduating here in a business school? Perhaps the opposite that attracted.

This is a high juncture of life where the agendas of aspirations and ambitions are much more pervasive. In this issue, I find myself partly confused and partly determined. For instance, financial independence is the bottom-line and the labor-of-love is the priority, still which lane to creep is very much impalpable. Sometimes, I feel, the artsy-fartsy, airy-fairy worship of words is nothing but the pursuit of will-o-the-wisp. You cannot live foot loose and fancy free forever. Reality bites when you start facing it. But I shudder even to think of the wheeling and dealings, roughs and tumbles, pushing and pulling that goes on within all business, all profession and all career.

I cannot live a lie, can’t stand on hypocrisy, can’t bear injustice, can’t support dishonesty and can’t turn my deaf ears on autocracy and hegemony. I renounce every victory gained by selling the soul. I can’t imagine living a life sans-nationality, sans-ethics and sans-rationality. Rags, drabs and hut are laudable if prosperity costs depravity of self-respect, self-dignity and independence. That achievement makes no any sense to me, starting from hard and honest studies if that ends with CEOs, NGO/ INGO professionals, academicians et al making their one belly fatter, their own bank balance heavier and their own organization richer. The high income and wide recognition are worthless if you can’t defend truth, can’t call spade a spade, lest your double standard falls by wayside.

Let’s come to myself, from life, all I expect is a career, a livelihood, that will let myself be myself, that wont steal me from myself and wont spoil me rotten. I would, very honestly, give to the profession whatever hard works, dedication and loyalty it deserves under the condition of paying me, a self-satisfaction, self- esteem and self-dignity, if not money, recognition and expansion of career.

Where can I find it, do you have any idea?

That is all tomorrow, today matters a lot for tomorrow. There are so many things I have to confess, commit and improve today. The first thing I have to do away is with the ever-increasing love handles, then I have to do away with my favorite journalistic sleep ( burning the mid night oil and rising to smell lunch), I have to patch up with books and studies and I have to stop being unable to say boo to a wild goose, to stop being mealy-mouthed and to start being bolder, smarter expressive and assertive. Does that sound too childish? But you know what, I celebrate my every birthday with resolutions.

OK! To sum up, mine was a life always in wedge edge and in fast lane, books, beaus, buddies, bunkings, flunkings, bangings, hangings, gatherings, funs, flirts, loves, hatreds, laughter, tears, Joie de Vivre, jiggery-pokery stuffs, rumpy-pumpy fancies,chats, and all the jazzes. Variety has always been the spice of my life . But life has made me able to know what’s what and where I stand with people.

Yes! That was a complete life, lived to its fullest.

NO No, No exposure friend! Let me call it a day.

15 Responses to “Turning Twenty: Tata Teens”

CSI-M Says:
December 24th, 2005 at 9:02 am

Oh… What a coincidence! I too just turned twenty last week. I also think life is beautiful below or above, no matter where. May be, I think, our lives would be even more beautiful and fruitful if we join our hands and vow to live together for ever. What do you think?

1whocandie4u Says:
December 24th, 2005 at 4:39 pm

I hope that my id is not going to create any mis-impressions on any lady and in particular to bloglady( or may be bloghuman-being)………..seriously, i have not read ur blog today notwihstanding the zeal to go through it…………….but, definitely i will read when i will have freetime in my hostel , in my room…………….u sound to be junior.i mean younger than me………but u r not my “bahini” anyway…………….if u do not mind, can u please add ur photo where ur face should be clearly visible from close distance…………..I hope that u r not such an ugly girl…..If u do not have any such photos, Please request wagle……..Wagle will be happy to take photos of anything in this world and in case of girls, i can’t imagine what he does…………………
all the best to ur “not-teen” life……..

new_hunk_in_town Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 5:53 pm
WOW! Lets talk words. For all my life, I have lived and breathed words, words of all sorts, written, printed, sang, cited and typed and even the invisibles. And I aspire to be a person of none other than letters. But what I am graduating here in a business school? Perhaps the opposite that attracted.

These lines remind me of a Shakespearean tragedy where when one character asks: What do I learn, lord? The reply goes: words, words, words!

Avipsha, keep up ur passion for words. I marvel at ur ability to coin phrases. U surely posses a pocket-sized dictionary, if not a Webster. It could have been better, had u made ur piece devoid of verbosity.

1whocandie4u Says:

December 24th, 2005 at 8:09 pm
I am not in a position to comment on the blog coz i have not read it……and i am not going to read it for at least a week…….I do not say this is due to my hectic schedule…..but definitely something that matters more important than this blog which has created main obstacle to read this blog……But i am going to reply here because of something that makes this blog different than others and makes me feel different to write here……….

Most of the time I ( and WE , in fact) read blogs related to current political tormoil in Nepal wil be criticising King most of the time…….That is feel-good -factor for me coz (i doubt my reasoning) mainstream medias have compelled me to believe that democracy and people’s democracy in particular can be achieved through freedom strufggle and that too of press…….in fact playing with imaginary words is not my field…….and i really believe that it is least important for anyone how does s/he feel when /she turns 15 or 19 or 20…or any age…….it’s a process and u will have product as increasing as rather than feeling………….so, today, i am writing in different context…….coz it’s different just that…….

Most of the bloggers here are males and i hardly see any feamle’s blog mainly in analytical and critical study of politics…….One of the blogger Ambika had sometimes written about mass struggle of kathmandu…….Except that women are considered to be good in field of imagination and description of beauty, age, and what not…….It’s good ( not for me but who loves these topics, i do not hate-i want to make my stand clear) for them and they can read it at least to kill their time, if they have any free time……
when i glanced through( i did not read blog as a whole) this blog, i also found that some extra words have been used…….(that is rightly called as verbosity…..that earlier comenter has mentioned ) as if the blog lady wants to prove that she has tremendous knowledge of English language…….she could articulate her ideas (i hope) even with the help of simpler words so that poor english readers should not feel marginalised…..The true ramifications and manifestations of ideas can be achieved even with simple language is what i feel to type at end……..

anyway complete nonsense……(my comments ) i do not know whether her blog is as nonsense as mine coz i have not read it……..

ks Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 1:15 am
Liked reading ur blog. Happy b’day ! Good luck 4 ur life ! amazed to read u.

Purushottam Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 1:24 pm
it seems that on the name of collagegirl of 20, it is written by other someone.

To CSI-M Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 3:28 pm
Joining hands and taking vow at 20
R u nuts?

N how will we drive post-vow Gaadi?
n will we strangle the bundle of joys?

– Avipsha

pat Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 3:50 pm
Bahini,

Though Im quite 100 percent sure that it was not ur creation, i enjoyed going thru it. Many hugs and kisses from the north poll.

“I cannot live a lie, can’t stand on hypocrisy, can’t bear injustice, can’t support dishonesty and can’t turn my deaf ears on autocracy and hegemony.” Isn’t it hyprocrcy to say this by some one on your behalf?

Happy b’day anyway! Don’t request anyone write for you nexttime… Iam sure you can wrtie a good piece your self—try it once….go for it! I am sure you can!

All the best!

To 1Whocandie4u Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 3:57 pm
OH! thank god! you gave clarification regarding ur name … otherwise… I would think sth else… LOL

Dont worry! you will not miss anything on earth even if u dont read this blog.this is just a tempest in teapot.

well yes! i m not that ugly , i have pretty pics too but something stopped me from exposing myself, what’s that? you know it well. I will display appearence only when i will emerge out of this mundane writings, i promise! you will see me when i will be able to do some analytical and investigative job as you expect from we lady bloggers (opps! should i dub myself a blogger?)

And the irony of English! It is as clear as day how fool i seem in the blog with the rain of phrases. I regret lil! But no .. lol.. no regret at all, this provides space for improvement, this will be dangerous if i start writing in good language from 20, got to learn a lot man!

To Handsome Hunk Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 4:15 pm
Devoid of verbosity?
ha ha… ! u got to posses some Achillis heels too k , so that handsome hunks like u feel themselves gr8 suggesting n criticisizing me..

To Aadaraniya Pat daju Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 4:27 pm
This skepticism will cost u a lot! take my words for this!

1whocandie4u Says:

December 25th, 2005 at 6:59 pm
TO You, blog lady……

I do not know why u tried to vomit words against me….I do not think that I have written anything that really affects ur liberty to write……There is no question of losing or gaining anything by reading someone’s feelings……I never take these questions of losing n gaining before reading though sometimes quality of writing makes me feel that I really wasted my time by reading useless (more properly shitty ) blogs or anything in that respect……

I do not question ur writing ability……nor have i ever raised in my comments…… these things are influenced by from where u completed ur SLC and PCL (+2), assuming that u have not completed ur Undergraduate level (Bachelor Degree), considering age…. I hope to see ur more n more blogs here with critical and analytical study of some weighty subjects ….. all the best for that n do not forget “VIDHYA DADATI VINAYAM”…..

I hope that u will understand my last verse..not mine but what i have written n u should know what i could feel after reading ur all the replies, not only to me but which u have written to others also…..

adarsha Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 2:39 am
Could the writer please let me know where she did her schooling from( don’t misunderstand me I totally respect her privacy..). I myself will turn 20 this feb and right now I am doing my bachelors in a first tire university in the U.S. After getting a decent score in my SAT test, I developed a feeling that I am a above average(-20yrs nepali) english writer. This gave me the confidence to try my hand at writing articles and thus I even published a few articles in the Himalayan Times. However, reading this blog more than a couple of times and still not being able to understand the blog sentence by sentence(mainly beacuse of the “hard”(mark: quote unquote) words used, makes me wonder which school I should have gone to develop this sort of mastery of english language. I would certainly like to send my brother to that school( I know it depends on u and not the school u go to ). However, i would like to give my brother a chance!!

To 1whocandie4u Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 2:51 pm
damn…. I never thought u would misunderstand me like this hell.
I was not vomiting words against you! I respect words and i hardly use my words in vomiting- business. I respect you and your comment a lot. I just mean to say, mine is a mundane blog and I dont want you to waste ur time, i mean it, very humbly…
I am really encouraged by ur comment… but i am shocked you find my every reply rude and outrageous, anyway, i will learn ur sanskrit version by heart ( though i m not sure i could decipher it)

To Adarsha Says:

December 26th, 2005 at 3:03 pm
Firstly, let me think, you are not mocking me!
One good turn deserves another!!
Adarsha, lets make a deal,I will manage your brother to admit in the school i studied,…. u will not need to worry an inch for him, one does not need to pay fee, and because its a village, ppl are humane and my menfolks will receive him very warmly, he will feel like home and in turn for that help me lil, that i want to publish my articles in Himalayan Times and because i dont have any idea whats the standards and methods thr… U got to ensure they will publish my writings ( Dont worry, i will ensure , the writing will not be trash)….

1 big lesson i learnt from ur comment: opertunities come everywhere in all forms, one need to utilize it to the fullest